🧭 Where Confidence Comes From

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• Norman Vincent Peale on Belief

• Where Confidence Comes From

• Great Posts of the Week

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Where Confidence Comes From

Today, we are looking at the process of where confidence comes from and the intersection of self-belief and confidence.

Why it matters: Self-belief and confidence are the foundations of personal growth and achievement. Simply put, believing in yourself is the first step to achieving your dreams and living a fulfilling life.

• Without self-belief, it becomes challenging to take risks, pursue goals, and overcome obstacles.

• When you believe in yourself, you unlock your potential and enhance your resilience against setbacks.

What the experts say:

Expert 1 - Dr. Ivan Joseph, a leadership expert and performance coach, in his Ted Talk (see link below) says the most important thing that he looked for in college soccer recruits: “Self-confidence.” He says, “Because when you lose sight or belief in yourself, we're done for.”

His definition of self-confidence is: “The ability or the belief to believe in yourself, to accomplish any task, no matter the odds, no matter the difficulty, no matter the adversity.” So how does he suggest you build self-confidence?

1. “Repetition, repetition, repetition.” - You have to show up and do the work consistently, it starts with how you practice. He says, “The problem is, we expect to be self-confident but we can't be unless the skill, or the task we're doing, is not novel, is not new to us.”

2. Persistence - He says, “Get out there. Do what you want to do and do not accept no.”

3. Choose positive self-talk - He says, “We know for a fact that thoughts influence actions.”

4. Praise the positive behavior you want to reinforce

5. Choose your mindset - He says, “Self-confident people interpret feedback the way they choose to.”

Expert 2 - Ryan Holiday, best-selling author and stoic philosophy expert, argues, “Great people don’t have to believe in themselves. They don’t have to fake anything. They have evidence.” He says, “Whether you think you can do something is so much less important than whether you actually can or can’t do that thing. You need to assemble a case that proves you can. You need to do the work that stands as evidence for what you’re capable of.”

Expert 3 - Dr. Nate Zissner, expert sports performance psychologist, says in his book The Confident Mind, “Confidence is that feeling that you can do something (or that you know something) so well you don’t have to think about how to do it when you’re doing it. That skill or knowledge is in you, it’s part of you, and it will come out when needed if you let it.” He states that it comes from many places, but there are some places to focus:

• Doing the work consistently to get better

• Building a bank account of historical wins

• Being present and mindful of how you’re performing and can improve

• Visualizing your future and what you want

• Protecting your confidence

Expert 4 - Michael Jordan - You can read Michael Jordan’s story of confidence and self-discovery here. He said, "If you are confident you have done everything possible to prepare yourself, then there is nothing to fear." It is through learning, practice, and hard work that you build and strengthen your confidence.

Michael Jordan felt the feelings of fear, uncertainty, and doubt before his first 5-star camp and when he did, he leaned on his mastery of the game. When you've done the work and practiced hard, pressure is an opportunity for you to rise.

So what did we learn and what are the common themes?

Your confidence is never static. It grows as you work on your craft and get better. It shrinks when you have tough days and doubt yourself. The process of building confidence takes time, but it accelerates when you spend time doing the work, putting in the “good,” and removing the “bad.”

• Confidence comes from consistency and preparation - By stepping forward and taking action, you build the confidence you seek. It means having the courage to try, to learn, and to grow from every experience.

• Confidence comes from adaptability - It comes from persistence and resilience. Confidence comes from knowing that you can adapt to any situation. You don’t feel beaten when a new challenge arises.

• Confidence comes from evidence - Look to your past and when you’ve accomplished things in your past. Dr. Zissner references a bank account of wins, while Ryan Holiday says you need to give your mind evidence.

• Confidence comes from your mindset and self-talk - It takes self-awareness, removing negative self-talk, and protecting your confidence. Confidence is always fluctuating based on what’s happening so think about how you can be steady while incorporating good habits.

So how can you improve your confidence?

1. Do the work - Set a daily goal of where you want to improve, be consistent with your process, and then do it.

2. Give yourself proof and evidence - Write down 10 times where you have succeeded in your past. Put it in a place that you can see every day. Remind yourself of your wins.

3. Spend time reflecting - Add to that list every day with wins that you accomplish each day. Focus on what you are doing well and where you have succeeded even in the smallest areas. Build the habit of looking for your wins.

4. Work on Your Self-Talk - Create a self-talk script for what you will say to yourself and when you will say it. The goal is to create a goal-oriented self-talk that helps focus your mind and puts positive intent behind what you are doing. This will help you respond and adjust to new challenges that may arise.

5. Get Excited About Challenges - Change your self-talk around challenges you face. Look for the opportunities in challenges and even use an affirmation to help with that: “I enjoy new challenges.” When you know you can get through tough tasks in life, it transfers to other areas of your life.

Confidence One-Liners:

• No one will believe in you unless you do.

• “People will never rise above the opinions of themselves.” - Peter Sage

• "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." – William James

• "Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will." – Suzy Kassem

• “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.” - Dale Carnegie

Helpful Links:

• The Link Between Self-Esteem and Confidence

• 7 Proven Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem

• The skill of self confidence | Dr. Ivan Joseph | TEDxRyersonU

• Believing In Yourself is Overrated. This is Better. by Ryan Holiday

• The Confident Mind: A Battle-Tested Guide to Unshakable Performance by Dr. Nate Zissner

• Michael Jordan’s Story of Confidence

Great Posts from the Week

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