🧭 You're not just a leader - you're a CRO

John Wooden on focus

The powerful principle of reinforcement

Today’s newsletter is inspired by my post yesterday (seen by over 500k people) on Pat Kelsey and specifically his quote below.

As a parent, coach, teacher, or manager, this is one of the most powerful ways to reframe your role. You’re not just leading - you’re reinforcing.

Success isn’t about setting expectations once. It’s about reminding, reinforcing, and re-establishing the standard every single day.

The reminding isn’t about micromanaging - it’s about consistency, clarity, and focus.

Your job isn’t to tell people once and assume they’ve got it. Your job is to make the standard so clear, so ingrained, and so reinforced that it becomes second nature.

That’s leadership. Not just setting the vision, but keeping it in front of people every single day.

I say this about success, leadership, and teams, but it’s not just about leading others - it’s also about leading yourself. Your life is a reflection of what you reinforce - where you focus, what you prioritize, and where you put your energy.

Start looking at what content you consume, your self-talk, your limiting beliefs, and how you respond to challenges.

• Every thought, habit, and action you reinforce shapes your reality.

• If you want to change your results, start by changing what you consistently feed your mind.

Why reinforcement drives behavior

Your brain is constantly learning what matters based on what you reinforce.

• If you focus on mistakes, your brain fixates on what went wrong.

• If you focus on growth, your brain strengthens the behaviors that lead to success.

This isn’t just a theory—it’s backed by research.

✅ Hebbian Learning Theory (Donald Hebb, 1949)
"Neurons that fire together, wire together."

• The more you reinforce a thought or behavior, the stronger it becomes in your brain.

• If you repeatedly tell yourself you’re bad under pressure, your brain learns to confirm that belief.

• If you train yourself to expect success, your brain strengthens that pathway.

✅ The Pygmalion Effect (Rosenthal & Jacobson, 1968)
"People rise (or fall) to the expectations consistently reinforced around them."

• When teachers were told certain students were “high potential,” those students improved - even though the selection was random.

• The way coaches, parents, and leaders reinforce expectations directly impacts performance.

✅ Self-Fulfilling Prophecy (Robert Merton, 1948)

What you expect - whether success or failure - becomes more likely because of how you unconsciously reinforce it. This is why great leaders, coaches, and parents are obsessed with reinforcing the right things.

They don’t just point out what’s wrong - they remind people of the standard, every day.

How to reinforce the right behaviors

1️⃣ Focus on what you want to see more of

What you talk about and reinforce shapes behavior.

✅ Instead of “Stop missing shots,” say “Keep taking confident shots.”
✅ Instead of “Don’t mess up,” say “Trust yourself—execute.”
✅ Instead of “Why are you so distracted?” say “Let’s refocus and lock in.”

Small shifts in language change what the brain reinforces.

2️⃣ Be the CRO—Chief Reminder Officer

Success isn’t about setting expectations once. It’s about reinforcing them daily. Nick Saban doesn’t just talk about the process once - he talks about it every day. He reinforces consistency, discipline, and execution so often that it becomes second nature.

If you’re a coach, leader, or parent, your job isn’t just to give instruction—it’s to remind people of the standard again and again.

🔁 What gets repeated gets remembered.

3️⃣ Catch People Doing It Right

Reinforcement isn’t just about correcting mistakes. It’s about catching and acknowledging the right behaviors.
✅ When a teammate steps up, highlight it in front of the group.
✅ When your child handles a challenge well, call it out.

People repeat the behaviors that get reinforced.

4️⃣ Train Your Brain to See Progress

It’s easy to fixate on what’s missing instead of what’s improving. Flip your focus:

• Start meetings by acknowledging progress before discussing challenges.

• End practices with what was executed well before correcting mistakes.

• Review personal growth by tracking small wins, not just long-term goals.

When you reinforce progress, motivation and confidence grow.

5️⃣ Build the Habit - Make Reinforcement a Daily Practice

Reinforcement isn’t random encouragement—it’s a daily discipline.

• Leaders → Reinforce vision and expectations in meetings.

• Parents → Reinforce effort and character daily, not just results.

• Coaches → Reinforce key principles in every huddle and practice.

Success is a product of what you repeatedly reinforce.

How to apply this today and takeaways

• If you’re a leader: Reinforce solutions, not just problems. Make clarity and progress the focus of every meeting.

• If you’re a parent: Reinforce resilience, not just achievement. Acknowledge effort and perseverance, not just outcomes.

• If you’re a coach: Become the Chief Reminder Officer. Reinforce effort, consistency, and discipline every single day.

• If you’re an athlete: Reinforce confidence and execution in your self-talk. Train your mind to expect success.

Questions to ask yourself:

• What am I reinforcing daily—intentionally or unintentionally?

• How can I shift my focus to reinforce the behaviors I want more of?

• Am I setting expectations, or am I reinforcing them consistently?

The best don’t just set a standard once.

They reinforce it—every day.

Control what you focus on, and you control what you reinforce.

Where focus goes, energy flows.

Favorite Posts I Found This Week

Free Mental Fitness Links 👇

For Athletes and Performers:

• How to develop grit

• 5 ways to make consistency a habit

• Dawn Staley on why you have to earn your playing time

• 5 things that high character people bring to a team

• Derek Jeter on why he was successful at the plate

For Coaches and Leaders:

• How Pat Kelsey tripled Louisville basketball’s win total in one year

• The one fundamental thing that you need to know about being a leader

• Tony Dungy on why you coach the person not the player

• Nick Saban defining discipline for the team

What I am reading and listening to:

📚 Book: INNER EXCELLENCE: Train Your Mind for Extraordinary Performance and the Best Possible life by Jim Murphy

🎥 Video: 10 Habits of Highly Effective People - Jim Rohn Motivation

🎧Podcast: Pat Kelsey's Louisville Is On The Rise | Winning Culture | Leadership Motivation

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