"Nobody’s going to give you playing time, you earn that playing time…What we've lost as a society is the ability to persevere." - Steve Sarkisian

Delayed Gratification = Perseverance + Patience + Hard Work

It means showing up, doing the work, and staying committed even when the results aren’t instant. Simple concept - hard to execute.

Bob Knight defined discipline in one sentence:

"Do what has to be done, when it has to be done, as well as it can be done – and do it that way all the time."

Four ingredients. No shortcuts.

I broke this down in my post this week (see below), but what strikes me most about Knight's framework is how it exposes where people actually fall short.

Most people know what to do. Information isn't the problem. You know you should make the calls, work out, have the hard conversation. The "what" is rarely the issue.

But the fourth ingredient is where discipline lives or dies: "Do it that way all the time."

Not when you feel like it. Not when someone's watching. Not when the stakes are high. All the time.

That's what separates the disciplined from the motivated. Motivation is a feeling. Discipline is a system.

This week's question: Which ingredient are you missing right now? Which ingredient is your team missing? Be honest with yourself.

Source: Bob Knight Prepare to Win 1996

It's easy to be a great teammate when everything's going right. When you're winning, everyone looks locked in and it's all smiles.

But coaches ask a different question - not just "Can I win with you?" but "Can I lose with you?"

Because how someone acts when it's hard says more than how they act when it's easy.

Losing reveals who you are. Do you make excuses? Do you point fingers or take responsibility? Do you look to run or stand and fight? Do you lean into the team or do you withdraw?

Adversity exposes your character. When things aren't going to plan, that's when the truth shows up. It doesn't just take talent to win, it takes character. That's when culture is tested. That's when trust either deepens or disappears.

Great teams aren't built on being perfect - they're built on how people respond to adversity. You need people who you can trust, who can stay composed, and who live the standard even when the scoreboard doesn't go your way. Because those are the people who help you grow, regroup, and rise again.

So ask yourself: Can I lose with this person? Will they still lead, still fight, still lift others even when we aren't winning?

If the answer is yes, that's someone you can build with.

After Virginia's historic loss to UMBC in 2018 - the first 16-seed to ever beat a 1-seed - Tony Bennett spent the offseason wondering how to address it with his team. His wife remembered a TED Talk by storyteller Donald Davis called "How the Story Transforms the Teller." Bennett watched it, then showed it to his team on the first day of practice. Virginia won the national championship the following year.

👉 Watch the TED Talk: How the story transforms the teller | Donald Davis | TEDxCharlottesville

The line that stuck with Bennett: "You're not telling the story to change what happened. You're telling the story to change you."

I keep coming back to this.

The stories we tell ourselves are running in the background all day long. Most people never stop to notice them. They just accept them as truth.

These aren't facts. They're stories. And they shape everything - your confidence, your decisions, your ceiling.

The dangerous part is how invisible they become. You stop questioning them. They just feel like reality. But they're not reality. They're narratives you've repeated so many times that they hardened into beliefs.

How often do you actually think about how you're thinking? How often do you stop and challenge the story you've been telling yourself for years - maybe decades?

Most people spend more time planning their week than examining their self-talk. And then they wonder why they keep hitting the same walls.

The story doesn't change what happened. But it can change everything about what happens next.

What story have you been telling yourself that's no longer serving you?

This week's question: How much information are you dumping on your team that they don't actually need? And what would happen if you cut it in half?

Bob Knight’s discipline definition. The entire Virginia story. The questions you should be asking your team every day.

These aren't just newsletter topics - they're part of a growing library inside The Coaching Vault. Over 1,000 messages, frameworks, and systems from the best coaches and leaders in sports.

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For coaches and leaders:

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All of these posts and more are in the Coaching Vault.

What I am reading and listening to:

📚 Book: Navigating the Noise: A Phase-by-Phase Guide to Softball Development by Carlton Salters

🎥 Video: The True Habits, Rituals, & Discipline of High Performers with Dr. Kevin Elko

🎧Podcast: Dabo Swinney: From Walk-On to 2x National Champion | Coach Mark Gottfried

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