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You tell your team to "manage their stress better." You coach athletes to "stay calm under pressure." You remind your kids that "stress is unhealthy."

And you're accidentally making them less resilient.

Dr. Alia Crum was studying mindsets at Stanford when the 2008 financial crisis hit. UBS, the massive financial services company, was hemorrhaging jobs. Employees were terrified about layoffs, drowning in pressure, and taking on impossible workloads. It was the perfect storm of workplace stress.

But Crum saw an opportunity. Sound familiar?

Why this matters: Your stress mindset isn't just personal - it cascades to everyone you influence. That coach who constantly talks about "handling pressure" is programming their athletes to see stress as something to endure. That parent who says "don't stress about school" is teaching their kid that stress signals something's wrong. That leader who focuses on "stress management" is reinforcing the idea that stress is the enemy.

The problem isn't always stress. It's how we frame it.

Crum's research reveals why our best intentions around stress are backfiring:

The Two Stress Mindsets - People’s mindsets fall into one of two camps:

Most of us have been programmed with the first mindset. We've been taught that stress kills, that it's the enemy of performance and health. But this creates a vicious cycle.

The UBS Experiment - During the financial crisis, Crum randomly assigned stressed UBS employees to watch different videos. Some watched films showing stress as harmful and debilitating. Others watched films showing stress as enhancing and strengthening - how it narrows focus, speeds up information processing, and triggers growth.

The total intervention? Nine minutes of video over one week.

The Navy SEAL Data - Crum found that Navy SEALs were the only population she studied that naturally had stress-enhancing mindsets. And guess what? Those with stress-enhancing mindsets were more likely to complete the brutal training program, had faster obstacle course times, and were rated more positively by peers.

Your mindset works like a bridge between what you're thinking and what your body actually does. Here's a simplified version of how to think about it:

When your brain notices stress, it looks for instructions on how to handle it. If your brain's default setting says "stress is bad," your body goes into protection mode. You either panic (overthinking, worry) or shut down (avoiding things, feeling numb).

But if your mindset says "stress helps me," your body switches to growth mode. The same stress that usually makes you lose focus now gives you laser-sharp attention. The same rush that causes anxiety now gives you energy. The same pressure that feels overwhelming now becomes the force that makes you stronger.

Remember: We only stress about things we care about. Your stress isn't random - it's directly tied to what matters to you. Where you put your attention is where your energy goes, and stress is just energy waiting to be used.

What this teaches us: Good leaders don't try to get rid of stress. They change how they think about it. They know that the way you talk about pressure and tough times affects not just you, but everyone listening. They know the value of what they reinforce.

This isn't about fake positivity or pretending stress doesn't exist. It's about being careful with your words. When you say "this is going to be stressful" versus "this is going to help us grow," you're setting up completely different reactions.

The best leaders, coaches, and parents all do the same thing: they help others see stress as useful information, not something scary. They turn pressure into an opportunity.

🧠Questions to Ask Others You're Leading

Final Takeaway: Your stress response is neutral energy waiting for direction. The story you tell yourself about that energy and the story you help others tell themselves - determines whether stress becomes your greatest weakness or your most powerful tool. Be intentional about the framing, because what you reinforce becomes reality.

For coaches and leaders:

For athletes and performers:

What I am reading and listening to:

📚 Article: Great read! From a Pinch Runner to a First Team All State, All Region and NFCA 2nd Team All-American Selection

🎥 Video: How to optimize HRV for a LONGER LIFE: Leah Lagos, Psy.D.

🎧Podcast: Nick Saban Hall of Fame coach opens up on his journey & reveals what he’d do differently | The Pivot

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