🧭 Scientists Discovered How Young Brains Actually Get Motivated

David Yeager on Mentoring

“Mentoring for future growth happens when the processes we use with young people instill skills or ways of thinking that continue to help them after they leave our care.”

How to Motivate Young People

You spend hours crafting the perfect feedback. You're clear, specific, and constructive. You genuinely want to help them improve.

And they completely ignore it.

Dr. Alex Sweeney can perform biblical miracles. As an ENT surgeon at Baylor Medical School, he restores hearing to people who can't hear. But when it came to giving feedback to junior residents on the hospital floor, these brilliant med students would nod politely - then make the exact same mistakes the next shift.

Sound familiar?

Why this matters: David Yeager, a developmental psychologist at UT Austin, calls this the "Mentor's Dilemma" and it's not just happening in hospitals. It's the coach whose players tune out during film sessions. It's the parent whose teenager rolls their eyes at every suggestion.

The problem isn't your feedback. It's how the adolescent brain processes it.

📑 What to Know

Yeager's research reveals why even our best intentions backfire with young people ages 10-25:

The Two Bad Choices - "Most mentors feel trapped between two options that both feel terrible:

• Be tough and critical, but crush their spirit and make them hate you.

• Be kind and positive, but lie to them and don't help them improve.

Neither works because young people aren't asking "Do you like me?" They're asking something much deeper: "Does this person who has power over me think I'm capable of something important?"

The Compliment Sandwich Trap - Teachers tried the classic approach of sandwiching compliments in with feedback. The problem? Young people don't do that mental math. They don't balance positives and negatives. They're scanning for one thing: Do you take me seriously?

The Wise Feedback Solution - Yeager's team tested a simple intervention with 7th graders writing essays. Teachers covered essays with detailed comments (spending hours grading), but added one handwritten note to half the students:

"I'm giving you these comments because I have high standards and I know that you can meet them."

The results were shocking: Students were twice as likely to revise their essays when they got that single sentence.

Think about this: In the control group, 60% of students ignored hours of teacher feedback. Complete waste of effort. But one sentence clarifying the teacher's intentions doubled the revision rate.

Why It Works

The magic isn't in the Post-it note - it's in what it communicates:

• High standards: This matters and I won't lower the bar.

• High support: I believe you can reach this level.

• Respect: I'm investing in you because I see your potential.

🔖 So what can we learn from this?

Great mentors don't choose between being demanding and being caring. They do both simultaneously. They understand that young people's brains are hypersensitive to status and respect - especially between ages 10-25 when testosterone levels surge and social sensitivity peaks.

The key insight: Same behavior, clearer intention. Those teachers still graded essays and gave detailed feedback. But by being transparent about where that feedback came from - high standards combined with belief in the student - everything changed.

This isn't about being "nicer" - it's about being clearer. When young people understand that your criticism comes from belief in their potential, not judgment of their worth, they lean in instead of shutting down. The most effective mentors Yeager studied all shared this trait: they maintained impossibly high standards while providing unwavering support. They never compromised between the two.

❓Questions to Ask Others You’re Leading

• If you're a manager or coach: When you give feedback, do your players know it comes from belief in their potential? Are you being clear about your high standards AND your confidence in them?

• If you're a parent: Does your teenager understand that your expectations come from seeing their capability, not disappointment in who they are?

• If you're a teacher or a leader: Are you spending hours giving feedback that gets ignored because young people question your intentions? How can you be more transparent about why you care?

Final Takeaway: You don't have to choose between high standards and high support. The best mentors do both - they just make sure young people understand that their criticism comes from belief, not judgment.

Source: David Yeager, Ph.D. - 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People

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📚 Book: How Good Do You Want to Be?: A Champion's Tips on How to Lead and Succeed at Work and in Life by Nick Saban

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