🧭 How to Reduce Anxiety and Negative Self-Talk

Good Day, and welcome to The Growth Compass. We are that great breakfast in the morning that fills you with energy, warmth, and the ability to start the day with the right mindset.

Here’s where we’re headed today:

• Bob Proctor on self-talk

• Why your self-talk matters

• How to reduce anxiety and negative self-talk from Dr. Michael Gervais, former Seattle Seahawks mental performance coach

• Dr. Michael Gervais and others on self-talk

• Free mental fitness links and stories from the week

FINAL REMINDER: We are currently offering access to our Growth Compass Community for $49. In January, the price goes up to $99. If you’re interested in joining our community and getting a motivating message every morning, sign up now!

Bob Proctor on Self-Talk

"Don't be a VICTIM of negative self talk - remember YOU are listening."

- Bob Proctor

Why Your Self-Talk Matters

Self-talk is the internal dialogue that goes on in our minds throughout the day. It's our inner voice, the silent conversations we have with ourselves. This self-talk can be positive, negative, or neutral, and it shapes our perception of the world and ourselves.

Why it matters: The nature of our self-talk has a profound impact on our mental health, emotions, and even our actions. Positive self-talk can boost confidence, improve mood, and enhance overall well-being. Conversely, negative self-talk can lead to increased stress, depression, and a distorted view of self-competence and self-worth.

What the science and experts have to say:

• The Impact of Positive Self-Talk and Performance: At Aberystwyth University in the United Kingdom, David Tod, James Hardy, and Emily Oliver reviewed 47 studies to analyze the relationship between self-talk and performance. The results showed beneficial effects of positive, instructional, and motivational self-talk for performance. Interestingly, it was found that negative self-talk did not necessarily impede performance, and there was inconsistent evidence for the differential effects of instructional and motivational self-talk based on task characteristics. This study suggests that self-talk, particularly positive and instructional types, can be effective in enhancing performance across various tasks.

• Using Self-Talk to Regulate Yourself and Your Stress: In a joint study conducted by researchers from the University of Michigan, Michigan State University, and the University of California, Berkeley teams analyzed the impact of the language used in self-talk on stress regulation. The research, spanning seven studies with a total of 585 participants, found that using non-first-person pronouns and one's own name during introspection enhances self-distancing. This form of self-talk led to better performance, less distress, and reduced maladaptive post-event processing in stressful social situations like public speaking. The study suggests that small shifts in self-talk can significantly influence the ability to regulate thoughts, feelings, and behavior under social stress.

How to Reduce Anxiety and Negative Self-Talk

Below is a summary from the mindbodygreen podcast with Dr. Michael Gervais where he discusses building confidence, reducing performance anxiety, and limiting negative self-talk. Dr. Michael Gervais is a high-performance psychologist and expert on performance. It is a great podcast and the whole thing is worth a listen.

How do you think about building confidence?

Building confidence doesn’t come from external people, but rather your self-talk and internal validation. For all coaches and leaders out there, confidence isn’t created through external validation but through self-reflection and personal growth. It gives great reason to promote self-reflection in others and how we can help with improving self-esteem.

So how can you improve your confidence and reduce anxiety?

1. Improve Your Awareness - When you are aware of your thoughts and how you are being in the moment then you can start to make the changes that you need to make. The 3 exercises that bring awareness are: mindfulness, journaling, conversations with people of wisdom.

2. Understand your Self-Talk - Know the phrases and dialogue that help you feel a certain way. For him, the most dynamic thing is being able to say to himself, “I can do hard things.”

   • Thoughts influence feelings and emotions.

   • Thoughts, feelings, and emotions influence behaviors.

   • Thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviors influence performance.

3. Regulate your breathing - Your ability to regulate your breathing in the moment is the only way to externally influence your internal conditions.

How does this relate to performance?

To combat performance anxiety, develop a deep understanding of how thoughts impact emotions and behaviors. Practice focusing on constructive thoughts and engage in thoughtful internal dialogues to maintain authenticity under pressure. This approach enhances expressiveness in stressful situations.

Specifically for performance, he talks about setting a goal for what your mindset will be, defining it, and writing it done. He goes through the example of setting an internal competitive mindset and this person’s goal is a “calm intensity” while they perform. The key to performance is to visualize and ask yourself:

• How will I breathe during this time?

• How will I talk to myself?

• How will I be in this moment?

So how can you get rid of negative self-talk?

Address negative self-talk by discerning between productive and unproductive thoughts. Acknowledge unproductive thoughts as mere mental events and redirect the focus towards constructive, task-related thoughts or phrases that build confidence. Regular practice of this technique aids in breaking the cycle of negative thinking patterns. The goal is to accept a thought for what it is, a thought. And make sure that it doesn’t keep unraveling into a “thought pattern” or a “thought train”.

Dr. Michael Gervais and Others on Self-Talk

Free Mental Fitness Links from the Week

Stories

• Bruce Smith’s Turning Point in his Career

• Larry Fitzgerald’s Story of Resilience and Longevity

Mental Fitness Tips

• 6 Ways to Develop More Grit

• Overcoming the 5 Dysfunctions of a Team

• 9 Traits that all Leaders Should Have

• Kobe Bryant, Coach K, and Nick Saban Defining Excellence

• 7 Coaching Habits of the Best Leaders

• 8 Things to Know About Commitment and Hard Work

INTERESTED IN ADVERTISING ON THE GROWTH COMPASS ?

Fill out this survey and we’ll get back to you soon!

That's a wrap for today. If you want to spread the joy, make sure to refer the newsletter to someone you think would benefit!