“We keep score in life because it matters. It counts. It matters. Too many people opt out and never discover their own abilities because they fear failure."

Jim Loehr spent decades working with elite performers. Along the way, he asked thousands of them two simple questions. The answers shocked him.

Question 1: Write six words that describe you at your absolute best.

He said, "When we collected answers, everyone thought everyone copied from their paper."

No one mentioned winning. No one mentioned money or titles. Everyone wrote things like:

Trustworthy. Compassionate. Kind. Fully engaged. Loving. Present.

Question 2: What words do you want on your tombstone?

Same result. No achievements. Just:

Loehr's conclusion: "There is a hidden scorecard in all of us. We chase extrinsic measures thinking they'll make us feel good. But that's not how we evaluate our lives."

This hidden scorecard traces back to survival. Our ancestors who connected with others survived. Those who went alone didn't. We're wired to measure ourselves by character and connection - not trophies.

This explained something Loehr kept seeing: elite athletes who reached the top, but felt hollow. They won everything and felt nothing. They were scoring on the wrong scorecard.

The external scorecard is easy to see. Points, rankings, revenue, followers. But the hidden scorecard - who you are when no one's watching, how you treat people, whether you're fully present - that's the one that actually matters to you.

You can win on the external scorecard and lose on the hidden one. And when you do, the victory feels empty.

👉 Inside Premium this week, I break down more on Dr. Jim Loehr and some of his championship frameworks. It's $99 right now - and about to triple. If you've been on the fence, now's the time. → Upgrade today

This week's question: Write six words that describe you at your absolute best. Then ask yourself - are you living those words daily? Or are you chasing a scorecard that won't fulfill you?

Jay Wright won two national championships at Villanova. When he talked about what made his teams successful, he didn't start with Xs and Os, he always started with attitude and mindset. He was asked, “What advice do you have for young athletes that want to play professionally.”

His answer is a masterclass on what it takes to be successful.

These 4 principles reframe everything.

The setback you're in right now? That's the story you'll tell later. The failure that feels like the end? That's the chapter before the breakthrough. But only if you keep going.

The thread through all four: Stay on YOUR journey. Not someone else's. The moment you start measuring yourself against others - ahead or behind - you've left your race.

Wright didn't just teach these principles. He built a culture around them. Villanova became a program where ego couldn't survive - and that's why they won.

Source: Jay Wright's interview on Tipping the Scales Podcast

This week's question: Which of these four principles do you need to focus on most right now - Growth, Humility, Focus, or Resilience?

Kentucky volleyball coach Craig Skinner said something that stopped me:

"You can coach with emotion, but you can't coach emotionally."

Then he explained what he meant (not the Will Ferrell gif below 😆):

"I used to coach emotionally and you just can't ever stay in the moment when you're coaching like that. You're always living in the past or thinking about the future. And the only way to be your best right now is to mentally be here."

Read that again. Coaching with emotion means you bring passion, energy, intensity. Coaching emotionally means you're reactive - triggered by what just happened or anxious about what might happen next.

One keeps you present. The other pulls you out of the moment.

This isn't just for coaches. It's for leaders. Parents. Competitors. Anyone performing under pressure.

You can lead with emotion - care deeply, fight hard, bring energy. But the moment you start leading emotionally - reacting to every mistake, spiraling after a bad break, projecting anxiety onto your team - you've lost the moment. And the moment is all you have.

The distinction is subtle but everything. Emotion is fuel. Emotional is chaos.

Source: Craig Skinner's interview on Bump Set Chat Podcast

This week's question: When the pressure rises, are you bringing emotion - or are you being emotional? What's the difference for you?

For coaches and leaders:

For athletes and performers:

All of these posts and more are in the Coaching Vault.

What I am reading and listening to:

📚 Book: The Craving Mind by Judson Brewer

🎥 Video: Bob Knight Prepare to Win 1996

🎧Podcast: Kentucky's Craig Skinner Reflects: Triumphs, Challenges & Coaching Wisdom | Bump, Set, Chat

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