🧭 How to Create Affirmations That Work

Muhammad Ali on Affirmations

“It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.”

The Power of Affirmations

You can say “I’m confident” a hundred times… but still feel like a fraud when it matters most.

That’s the problem with most affirmations - they sound good, but they don’t shape how you actually think. Why?

Because most people write them the wrong way. They focus on fantasy, not identity. Perfection, not process. Just take a look at Mark Manson’s quotes below:

Done right, affirmations are a mental performance tool. They shape how you think. They rewire your belief system. And they build the identity of a confident, resilient, purpose-driven leader.

Why this matters: In pressure moments, you don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the strength of your mindset. Affirmations when built correctly train the internal voice that shows up in those moments. And over time? That voice becomes your advantage.

🔍 What to know

You’ll see today that affirmations work best when tied to action, behavior, and belief. Because when you make promises you can’t keep, you lose trust with yourself.

✅ 1. Affirm Who You Are, Not What You Want
Most people write affirmations as wishes: “I want to be confident.” But research shows they’re most effective when they reflect identity and values:

• “I am a calm competitor.”

• “I handle pressure by focusing on the next step.”

You’re reinforcing a mindset anchored in who you are, not what you lack.

✅ 2. Tie It to Your Values
Affirmations grounded in values (like growth, character, effort) reduce cortisol and improve psychological stability.

“I speak with honesty and lead with empathy,” hits harder than “I’m a good leader.”

✅ 3. Emotion + Repetition = Impact
Saying the words isn’t enough, you have to feel them.
Emotion + repetition strengthens the pattern for yourself.
This is why saying it out loud, with energy, matters.

✅ 4. Use Your Name
Talking to yourself in the third person - like “You’ve got this, AJ” - creates emotional distance. It helps you regulate stress and reduces overthinking under pressure. In fact, psychologist Ethan Kross found that third-person self-talk improves performance under pressure by creating a buffer between emotion and action (Kross 2014 - link to sources below).

✅ 5. Reframe the Threat
Affirmations don’t ignore stress - they zoom out. They remind you that setbacks are part of the story, not the whole story.

That mindset reduces fear of failure and increases openness to feedback.

📚 So what can we learn from this and how can we use this?

Here’s how to build affirmations that work for yourself:

• Choose 2–3 identity-based statements - Make them about who you are becoming, not just what you want. Affirmations work best if you have them tied to habits or actions that you are already doing.

  “I own my habits - every rep, every moment.”

• Set a specific time to say them - Repetition early in the day sets your internal tone, but pick a time that works for you where you can be consistent.

  “I live my values through effort and discipline.”

• Anchor them to pressure moments - Use them when stress spikes - before a game, after a mistake, in transition. Make them focused on an action or something that will help you focus.

  “I embrace pressure, it sharpens my focus.”

• Write them and feel them for 21 days - Consistency builds belief. The more you write them, the more real they feel. This also means feel the energy behind the words.

  “I stay grounded by focusing on the next step.”

• Use them as a team standard - Team identity is built through shared language. Choose 2–3 to live by.

  “We compete with character, effort, and trust.”

  “Pressure doesn’t break us - it brings us closer.”

And remember this: Don’t say negative things to yourself out loud. Your brain listens. If you wouldn’t say it to your team, don’t say it to yourself. Instead, focus on what you want to feel. Affirmations should be focused and action-based where possible, especially in the moment of a game:

• “Stay calm.”

• “Breathe and compete.”

• “Eyes up. Lead strong.”

➡️ Mastering affirmations is just one piece of the mental game. But what’s quietly holding your team back when pressure hits? We dive into this and so much more this week in our Premium newsletter. Topics include:

1. The 3 mindset traps quietly holding teams back

2. Why positive thinking sounds good, but often backfires under pressure

3. And the simple reason your team talks about discipline more than they actually live it

It’s practical. It’s powerful. And it might just change the way you lead. → Start your free trial today!

🧠Questions to Ask Others You’re Leading

• If you’re a manager or coach: Are your affirmations shaping how your team talks about pressure? Do your players repeat identity-driven phrases or just results they want?

• If you’re a leader: Are you reinforcing who you are under stress or who you wish you were? Is your self-talk grounded in action and values or empty positivity?

• If you’re a parent: Are you modeling affirmations that reflect the values that you want to show?

• If you’re an athlete: Are your affirmations about showing up, competing, and leading?

Final Takeaway: You’re reinforcing a mindset anchored in who you are, not what you lack. As James Clear says, habits are how you prove your identity to yourself. Make affirmations about the identity you're already building, one action at a time.

Sources:

1. Self-Affirmation: Understanding the Effects | David Sherman

2. Self-Affirmations Provide a Broader Perspective on Self-Threat | Critcher and Dunning

3. Self-Affirmation Activates Brain Systems Associated with Self-Related Processing and Reward and is Reinforced by Future Orientation

4. Self-Talk as a Regulatory Mechanism: How You Do It Matters | Kross

Favorite Posts I Found This Week

Free Mental Fitness Links 👇

For coaches and leaders:

• Bill Parcells on why great teams don’t complain

• Bill Walsh on the 4 things all great teachers need

• The 2 questions Kirby Smart asks before he hires anyone new

• How to frame patience from Usain Bolt

For athletes and performers:

• The ONE dinner that changed everything for Tyrese Haliburton

• What Tom Coughlin looked for in recruits

• What to do about imposter syndrome

• How to create your own luck

• 5 habits for a winning mindset

What I am reading and listening to:

📚 Book: Inner Excellence: Train Your Mind for Extraordinary Performance and the Best Possible Life by Jim Murphy

🎥 Video: Create a Team of Teams to Empower Your Organization with General Stanley McChrystal

🎧Podcast: Grant Hill On Overcoming Adversity, Battling LeBron, Kobe and MJ, Incredible Duke Stories and More | The Young Man and the Three

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