Tom Brady heard a quote that stuck with him: "Every brick you put down is an opportunity for you to travel that road to be successful. But every brick you put in a wall is an excuse that blocks your opportunity to get where you want to go."

Same brick. Two completely different structures. One builds a path forward while the other builds a wall that keeps you stuck.

Here's what determines which one you're building: what you do the moment things go wrong.

Brady watched Victor Wembanyama after a tough playoff loss said, "We dominated every game." Brady's reaction was blunt: "It's not the point." Not because Wembanyama was wrong about the talent gap. Because that framing misses the only question that actually matters. Not who was better. What am I going to do about it.

"The reality for everybody is like they were better than we were and we got to do a better job. Simple."

That's the whole philosophy. It’s not complicated, comfortable, or fun.

Brady said it plainly: when you lose, there's always someone willing to hand you an excuse. The defense's fault. The coach's fault. The refs. Your agent, your mom, your dad, all telling you it wasn't you. "That might help for five seconds. But in the end, it doesn't change any of the outcomes."

So instead, he took a different approach after every loss: "How would I answer that question? What could I have done better that day?" Not to punish himself. To find the brick that builds the road instead of the one that builds the wall.

This is a life mindset. Brady said he's watched the same pattern play out with the best entrepreneurs he knows. The ones who succeed put everything back on themselves. I've got to motivate him more. I've got to understand that better. I've got to make that decision. Same posture, different arena.

Excuses feel good for about five seconds. Ownership is the only thing that actually moves you forward.

You're laying bricks every single day, whether you notice it or not. The only question is what you're building with them.

Source: Idea for this post comes from his recent appeance on the New Heights podcast with Jason and Travis Kelce.

Jimmy Johnson was once asked a simple question: how do you build a winning team? His answer below has so much great insight for coaches and teams…

What makes this framework more than a slogan is how personal Johnson made it. He didn't guess at what motivated his players. He studied them - what drives them, what makes them tick, what shuts them down. He believed people rise or fall based on how you treat them: "You treat a person as he is, he's gonna stay as he is. Treat a person as if he were what he could be and should be, and he will become what he could be and should be."

You can design the best culture on paper. It still comes down to the people in the room and what they do every single day.

Why is it so hard to break a pattern once you know it isn't working?

Habits form through a three-step loop - cue, routine, reward. Repeat that loop enough times and it moves into the part of your brain responsible for automatic behavior.

That's not a metaphor. Your brain literally builds a shortcut so it doesn't have to think anymore. Efficient. Also very hard to override with willpower alone.

Here's what's uncomfortable about this. A lot of what keeps people stuck doesn't even look like a bad habit. These behaviors feel safe. They even feel responsible. But they're often just a more acceptable way of staying exactly where you are.

I keep coming back to one question…Where can I build more self-awareness into my day?

Because here's what I've learned. The hardest part about breaking a habit, growing, or changing isn't the discipline to change… it's being able to notice where you need to change in the first place. Most people never even get to the discipline part - they're not aware enough to know what needs fixing.

And if you don't take time to break the monotony of what you do - to actually step outside your routine and look at it - it's hard to override any habit. You can't fix what you're not paying attention to. Self-awareness isn't a soft skill. It's the first rep. Everything else comes after it.

For coaches and leaders:

For athletes and performers:

All of these posts and more are in the Coaching Vault.

What I am reading and listening to:

📚 Book: Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection

🎧Podcast: Everybody Thinks This Is Oregon’s Year. What Does Their Coach Have To Say About It? | Yogi Roth Podcast

🎥 Video: Michael Phelps on Being Strong, Physically and Mentally | How I Got Here with Chris Paul

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